


Your Call

by iori_sempai



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Birthday, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2450513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iori_sempai/pseuds/iori_sempai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He made a choice. The consequences of it and the impetus behind it-- he will have to accept them all.</p><p>P4G accomplice ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Call

The day he returns from the police station, the smell of burnt paper clinging to his coat, Souji goes to his room without a word. He stares at the long string of numbers on the recent calls screen for what seems like hours before continuing to the next: Add to contacts. The blank box where he's supposed to put the name gives him an overwhelming sense of anxiety.  
  
The first thing that he types is _The Killer_. No matter how much he'd hoped for Adachi to be lying, how much he'd believed in him, the fact that he is a murderer is something that Souji cannot escape. But having such a contact in his phone would be ridiculous. He erases it, entering in _Adachi_ this time.  
  
Even that seems wrong. He does not want to think of that man as Adachi, though he knows it's more accurate to say the man he'd met before was not Adachi. Besides, Souji does not think they are close enough for him to appear in his phonebook without arousing some sort of suspicion, so he deletes that, too.  
  
Then he types: _Partner_. The word makes him scoff under his breath.  
  
That's what they are now, isn't it? Of course, the way that Adachi had said it was so very different from the way Yosuke uses it. He hadn't meant that they were friends, or comrades who shared good times and bad.  
  
Instead, Souji is an accomplice. An accessory in two murders. A criminal who had covered for Adachi because of their "bond," and in the end, he'd gone so far as to destroy the only evidence capable of reopening the case. No matter what Souji does now, there is no erasing those simple facts.  
  
He clears the word, and finally decides on a single letter. _T_.  
  
For Tohru, for two-faced and traitor and _tell no one_.  
  
  
Souji feels like he has lost something precious inside of him, and gained something dark and painful. Even without proof, he knows that his friends would believe him. His destruction of evidence would be forgiven in the blink of an eye if Souji told them, "I did it so that he would confess, and he admitted it." If it was only had a hunch, Naoto and Yosuke and all the others would put their faith in him, because they are his friends, his comrades, and they trusted him. But for some reason, the words never come out.  
  
Souji wonders if he is unable to tell them about Adachi because he has never betrayed someone before (a blatant lie-- isn't this a betrayal toward his friends and all they have done to find the culprit? Toward his own best friend who'd sworn to find his beloved Saki's killer?).  
  
He does not keep it secret because he is afraid of what Adachi will do to him in retaliation. Souji knows that he has allies, and with all of them on his side, Adachi wouldn't be able to stand a chance.  
  
He does worry, however, about what Adachi might say.  
  
"He destroyed the only piece of evidence that could have worked against me, just because I told him to do it. You think a bunch of high school brats with wild accusations are going to change anything?"  
  
"He told me he was on my side, even though he knew I was the killer!" Souji can almost hear Adachi's mocking laughter, him scoffing, "Tell me, what kind of _hero_ does that?"  
  
"That was ages ago! I'm sure you can check the police logs to see how long it's been since then. And do you know why it took so long for him to tell you? Let me spell it out for you idiots-- because we're _partners_!"  
  
Adachi is more than aware that Souji could turn against him, and would no doubt have words prepared to cripple him. "Thank you, Souji-kun... You've led them right into my trap like a good boy, haven't you?" And just as easily as he can picture the twisted sneer on Adachi's face, he can see the shocked and confused expressions his friends would have. Not wanting to believe what they were being told, but suddenly filled with doubt.  
  
Worst of all, Souji doesn't know how he would be able to defend himself. Each day he keeps silent is a further indictment of his crime, and his lies of omission. Of his willingness to protect a murderer. The weight of that is heavy, but Souji thinks he has no choice other than to struggle with it on his shoulders.  
  
If only he'd told his friends the truth, the second he'd learned it. If only he'd believed in them, and hadn't tried to confront Adachi on his own.  
  
If only he'd never stopped to chat with Adachi in the Junes foyer all those months ago, and been taken in by his flaky facade like a fool.  
  
Souji says nothing.  
  
  
For almost two long months, he spends every free moment checking his phone, dreading the notification of a voicemail or message emblazoned with a single letter. Every time the phone rings, Souji's body tenses-- then relaxes when he sees the name of a friend instead.  
  
But eventually, it comes.  
  
The instant his phone buzzes to life, and "T." shows up on the caller ID, Souji can't breathe. A hundred possibilities fly through his head at once as he stares at the screen. On the fourth vibration, he sucks in a gasp of air, and flings the phone open.  
  
He presses it to his ear, awaiting the absolute worst (an exasperated sigh, helpless chuckle and _Aw, hell... I did it again_ ).  
  
"Souji-kun. I was worried you wouldn't pick up." What he hears defies his expectations. It's a soft, hapless ( _fake_ ) voice that speaks to him now. "Are you busy this Wednesday?"  
  
He does not know what game Adachi is trying to play. Even if he did have plans, Adachi would simply demand that he drop everything for what he needed, wouldn't he?  
  
"Souji-kun?"  
  
Regardless, Souji hadn't been planning to do anything in particular, so he bites his lips. "I'm free. Why?"  
  
Adachi laughs in the carefree way he does around Dojima. Hearing him like this when he knows the truth makes Souji's fist clench. "Dojima-san was supposed to buy me a drink, but he gave me a raincheck. He's been working real hard on the case against Namatame..." The name brings Souji a pang of guilt. The man had looked at him with such surprised gratefulness when he said he'd listen to Namatame's story. But now, Souji was letting him go down for a crime he hadn't even committed. And for what? "...and that's why, you should come over instead."  
  
Souji catches the last part of Adachi's sentence and snaps his head up. "...Come over?"  
  
"It's my birthday. It's too sad to spend it all alone, don't you think? I kind of used up most of my paycheck last week," Adachi says, his voice filled with ( _manufactured_ ) sheepishness, "so I'm counting on you for dinner. See you then, Souji-kun."  
  
A text arrives less than a minute after he hangs up. The address of an apartment, and the words, "I'm off at 7."  
  
Ridiculously enough, he is grateful for the distraction. Wednesday is only two days away, but the simple thoughts of what to make for dinner help soothe him. He tries not to think about Adachi as he jots down a list of things to pick up from Junes, but his mind wanders anyway.  
  
If he tries hard enough, Souji can pretend that this is November, back when he'd thought of Adachi as hopeless and harmless. The fleeting thought of making stew comes to him and is immediately overshadowed by the memory of Adachi coming over for dinner. What sticks in Souji's mind are the playful tricks that Adachi had used to entertain Nanako. Did he find everything troublesome even then? Had he chuckled under his breath over how gullible they all were?  
  
For some reason, Souji doesn't think that is entirely true. Maybe it's just the vain hope that the Adachi he'd spent so many evenings with hadn't simply been a performance.

  
On Tuesday, Yosuke approaches him after the last class bell rings, asking whether they should enter the TV. Since December, the foggy wold inside the TV had become more active. Even the shadows in the first areas they had explored together were growing stronger, more aggressive and multiplying.  
  
The investigation team was always full of energy and hope whenever they went into it, certain that this time they'd find a clue to explain what was happening. Souji had the only clue they needed, and he still wasn't ready to give it up. Investigating that world used to make him feel special, heroic, like he had a true purpose for being. Now, it only makes the words _villain_ and _hypocrite_ repeat endlessly in his skull until he can escape, collapse in his bed, and stare at his phone until he passes out.  
  
Whenever he's surrounded by the trusting faces of his friends, he's on pins and needles. Souji wishes that someone else would step up for him instead, so he wouldn't have to suffer for the sake of their investigation. They were all the same age, weren't they? Why did he have to be the chaperone? _Can't you all do it without me?_ he thinks sometimes, filled with resentment, and that scares him even more than anything Adachi could say.  
  
Naoto and Yosuke are the most perceptive when it comes to him, and he knows they can see him struggling. "You seem particularly strained lately. Is there something troubling you?" Naoto asks occasionally, her voice level enough to mask how worried she is about him. Conversely, Yosuke's words are always filled with concern, admiration, and embarrassment. "You know you can count on me, partner. I've always been the one who's leaning on you, but if you ever need to talk about anything, just say the word."  
  
He should say, _Adachi is the one who did it_ , but the words _I don't want to be the leader anymore_ end up on the tip of his tongue instead. Souji smiles and shakes his head. "I appreciate it," he tells them both. Nothing more.  
  
He declines the investigation for today, but goes to Junes anyway to pick up ingredients for Wednesday. A dish that had a good amount of busy work would keep his thoughts at bay.

Yosuke's offer still sticks in his mind; on the way to the cash register, Souji decides to spend the night baking a cake rather than buying one.  
  
  
"Oh, you're making a cake? Is it someone's birthday?" Nanako asks as she peeks at him in the kitchen during a commercial.  
  
Souji presses his lips together as he creams the butter with the sugar. "A friend's," he says, and oddly, it does not feel like a lie. Fixing a smile to his face, he turns to Nanako. "I'm making cupcakes, too. Want to help?"  
  
In the end, there are twelve cupcakes and a small, two-layer cake. A few cake decorating supplies in Junes had been cheap enough for Souji to toss them into his wagon without a second thought. As he demonstrates to Nanako how to use a piping bag, he feels relieved that he'd acted on a whim.  
  
Nanako carefully pipes the icing onto the cupcakes beside him while he spreads the frosting onto the round cake. Using a star tip, he decorates the edges with a simple border of pale red. Finally, he writes "Happy Birthday" with a steady hand, stifling a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation.  
  
"Wow, big bro! You're so good at this. It looks like a cake you'd buy somewhere!" Nanako's delight helps to stave off his dark thoughts, if only for the rest of the night.  
  
  
In the morning, Souji tells Nanako to take the cupcakes to school and share them with her friends at lunch. He's grateful that Dojima is too busy to come home for more than a change of clothes, and too preoccupied to notice the suspicious container on the corner of the table.  
  
After school, he heads home before Yosuke, or anyone else, can say a word about the investigation.  
  
Souji starts with the prep work, deciding on a simple yaki-niku dish with sauteed vegetables. After he turns on the rice cooker, he begins the systematic slicing of green and yellow peppers, red onions, scallions, and mushrooms. The beef had been moved to the freezer while he prepared the vegetables, and once he is finished, he brings it to his heavy cutting board to cut in very thin slices. He makes enough for Nanako to have dinner, and to pack for lunch the next day.  
  
After a glance at the television, Souji realizes that he's working faster than usual. He'd end up finishing ahead of schedule at this rate. Another inventory of the fridge reveals a package of leftover wonton wrappers, so he minces the trimmings together with a few vegetables to fill them, and makes potstickers as an appetizer.  
  
By the time Souji's packed up dinner perfectly in two large bento boxes, it's time to leave. He'd catch the 7:30 bus at the shopping district and take it to Adachi's apartment complex.  
  
In the middle of moving the containers into a sturdy paper bag, he pauses. "Will you be alright on your own, Nanako?"  
  
"Uh-huh, I'll be fine," Nanako says. Though the kidnapping had shaken her, she seems to have returned to her old self. Still, Souji feels guilty about leaving her alone. He tells himself that he'll likely only be staying for a few hours, and reminds Nanako not to open the door for anyone. She nods again, then gives him a big smile. "Have a good time, and thanks for dinner, big bro!"  
  
  
Adachi's apartment is on the third floor, and just as Souji reaches the top of the stairs, his phone starts to buzz. He digs into his pocket and pulls it out.  
  
One new message. T.: "The door's unlocked."  
  
Souji double checks the number on the address and walks down the hall to room 306. His hand pauses on the doorknob. He doesn't know what to expect when he opens the door. Which Adachi will be waiting for him inside? The one who'd made the call two days prior, acting like nothing had changed between them? Or the Adachi that consumes his thoughts lately, the one with a wicked smile and chuckle that sent shivers down his spine?  
  
Delaying the inevitable wouldn't change anything; Souji won't be prepared either way. Inhaling deeply through his nose, his hand pushes down on the door handle and swings it open.  
  
"Oh? You're here earlier than I expected," Adachi says with a smile when he sees him in the doorway. His eyes fall to the bag he's holding, and he asks, not hiding his anticipation, "What'd you bring?"  
  
Souji swallows the lump in his throat and walks to the table. "It's not that much."  
  
No matter whether he believes that to be true, it becomes apparent when he pulls out the bento boxes stuffed full of a home-cooking that he had put a lot into this dinner.  
  
Adachi gives him a soft look, like he's pleasantly surprised. "Geez, all this for me? And you made it yourself?" Souji only nods in response, and Adachi laughs cheerfully. "I can't wait, then. The first time you told me you were a good cook, I thought you were just kidding."  
  
It's so easy to forget the truth, and think that everything that had happened was just one long dream. A simple smile is all it takes for Souji to fool himself. To believe that Adachi couldn't have done it. He hasn't heard the gory details, so maybe, Souji thinks on some snowy nights, he had had a reason to do it.  
  
That he wants so badly to give Adachi the benefit of the doubt when he's like this only makes Souji feel worse.  
  
Adachi digs in to his lunchbox with relish, only stopping occasionally to take a swig of canned beer or to compliment the meal. "It's been a long time since anyone's cooked for me on my birthday," he says sheepishly.  
  
Souji pushes away the thought of what Naoki and his family will do when Saki's birthday arrives, and she isn't there to celebrate it with them. If Adachi wants to pretend, then he will go along with it. He tells himself that it's because there's no use torturing himself over what's been done, when the truth is that he's too weak to stomach it when an easy way out looms ahead. "I thought you used to have a girlfriend."  
  
"Oh, that?" Adachi lets out a quiet sigh. "She was cute, but she couldn't cook a good meal to save her life. She told me that she'd work on getting better, but having to try all her failures was a real pain." There it is again, the biting, bitter tone to Adachi's words, an ill match to his slight smile. How had Souji never let it bother him in the past?  
  
The question is pointless to ask himself. It was the same reason why he'd offered him dinner time and time again even though Adachi had only seemed mildly interested.  
  
Souji had deeply wanted to know him.  
  
His power and the development of his persona thrived on such things; with every person he met, the desire to delve into them, to help them and be with them was overpowering. It was like a puzzle-- figuring out what to say, when to best spend time with them in order to learn more.  
  
Souji hadn't been careful about which people to become close to. And why would he have? Never once did he believe he would come to regret any of the bonds he'd made. Even when he'd befriended someone who was rude or prickly, the more time he spent with them, the more he realized what kind of person they were on the inside. A bully because of low self-esteem, bitter because of grief, angry because of being misunderstood.  
  
How could he ever have expected the secret that laid buried beneath Adachi's demeanor?  
  
Of course, it had been surprising the first time he heard Adachi speak so cynically about his daily life, and the woman who'd mistaken him as her son. But Souji never wondered if there was a more sinister side of Adachi. Instead he was pleased that they'd become closer, that Adachi revealed a part of himself Souji hadn't seen before.  
  
Even now, even knowing that Adachi is the type of man capable of murder, of blackmailing him, Souji can't let go of the moments they'd had together. It's probably sheer egotism, but he does not want to think that all of those evenings were simply lies. No, he truly doesn't believe it. But it's too late to go back to those days.  
  
Souji wonders what might have happened if he hadn't been so curious, so desperate to hear the answer from Adachi's own mouth. Would they have had to fight? Would he have tried to murder Souji as well? Would Adachi be sitting in jail now, instead of in front of him like this? Souji can't deny the crushing feeling in his chest at those thoughts.  
  
"Your cooking is fantastic," Adachi says, obviously pleased with his dinner. Souji should be ashamed at how happy he feels at that praise, but it's a kneejerk reaction he can't quite help. After he finishes off the last potsticker, Adachi sighs and adds, "It's a real shame you weren't born a girl."  
  
Souji remembers how he'd been brushed off during one of their first meetings. He'd been concerned about Adachi's diet, but the police officer had just wished it was a cute girl offering dinner instead. Feeling particularly bold, Souji says, "I thought you said everything else was negotiable?"  
  
That makes Adachi's eyes widen for a second, then narrow. A shiver runs up Souji's spine as the smile on Adachi's face stretches into a smirk. His voice dips deeper, with the hint of a chuckle as he murmurs, "Souji-kun. Didn't I tell you before that it isn't good to tease adults?"  
  
Souji's heart beats faster, stunned by Adachi's response. It's so bizarre to see him change how he acted at the flip of a hat, and he hadn't thought those would be the words to do it.  
  
"Is that what you came over for today, Souji-kun?" Adachi spoke his name with a mocking sing-song quality to it. "Did you follow me around, and say you were on my side because you wanted to be my _girlfriend_?"  
  
"Of course not! It's because," Souji feels like a fool for even thinking it, but he weakly ekes out, "we're friends."  
  
Adachi seems like he might just break out laughing at those words, but thankfully he doesn't let out more than a snort. "And all your other little friends? What about them?"  
  
Souji doesn't know what to say.  
  
"Face it, kid. You did it because you like me more, don't you?" Even though the words are taunting, the way Adachi says it is entirely different. He sounds pleased, victorious and gleeful, the same way he had when he'd first given Souji his number.  
  
Souji had chosen him over everyone else. In the end, it was a choice he'd have to live with. Souji bites his lip, and quietly asks, "You won't do it anymore, right?"  
  
Adachi looks at him. "What?"  
  
"As long as you don't hurt anyone else... it's okay." Souji knows how hypocritical he sounds. It's a horrible thing to say, and it's painful to admit his pathetic feelings out loud. "You should pay for your crimes, but I don't want to be the one to turn you in. Because... you're my friend."  
  
Adachi's eyebrows twitch, and his brow furrows when he spits out, " _Friend, friend_... you keep going on about that bullshit, but who the hell are you kidding!? How much time did we really spend together? How much do you actually know me? All you know is the person I was around you, and I'm sorry to tell you-- he isn't even real!"  
  
That isn't true. Souji remembers what Rise had told him, as she struggled with her identity and her career as an idol. _"I was trying to figure out whether Risette or Rise is the 'real' me, but in the end... they're both me, aren't they?"_  
  
The Adachi that Souji had known was definitely created from something, even if it was a charade. What Adachi had said about his job, about school, and what he'd thought of Souji's cooking were all probably true. They're such small, simple things that no one would bother lying about, and when Souji thinks about it this way, a strange sense of relief fills him.  
  
But there is more to the man in front of him than that. He can't smother the guilt he feels, but he can't pull himself away from Adachi's interactions either. Souji looks into Adachi's eyes, and says, with as much honesty as he can muster, "I want to know you."  
  
Adachi looks caught off-guard at those words, and for once, he doesn't have a ready response.  
  
The silence stretches on for a few moments, so Souji takes the chance to change the subject altogether. He pulls the last container out of the bag he'd brought and sets it in the middle of the table.  
  
"I made a cake." Adachi stares down at it as he pulls off the top, still silent when Souji says, "We need utensils."  
  
Adachi gets up to retrieve two plates, a pair of spoons and a knife to cut the cake. "What if I do it again?" Adachi asks finally, pressing the knife into the frosting.  
  
If it ever came down to it, Souji has to uphold this promise more than anything else in his entire life. "Then," his voice rasps, but he pauses, and swallows, "I'll turn you in myself."  
  
Finished with the first piece, Adachi raises the knife and extends his arm until Souji finds the tip pressed at his heart. "And what if I decide that it should be you?"  
  
Souji doesn't tremble, and his voice doesn't waver. "You'll lose the only person who was willing to be on your side."  
  
This time, Adachi does laugh. He laughs so hard that his body shakes, and the second piece he cuts turns out crooked. When it finally lessens to a quiet chuckle, Adachi moves the slices of cake onto their plates, and dives into his piece.  
  
 "It's good," Adachi says, shades of laughter still coloring his tone. "Way better than the shit I usually get from the supermarket."  
  
  
"You're leaving next month, aren't you?"  
  
Souji nods.  
  
"You can leave this town, but don't think you can ever get away from me. If you stop answering your phone, I'll find out where you are. So be a good boy, and keep taking my calls."  
  
"...I know."  
  
"You're a real dumbass, you know, getting caught up with a guy like me," Adachi says as Souji collects the empty lunchboxes, and prepares to leave.  
  
The concern he hears in Adachi's voice is probably just wishful thinking.  
  
  
When he gets home, Souji erases the _T._ from his phone contacts, and replaces it with _Adachi_.


End file.
